


what I've tasted of desire

by salable_mystic



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Feelings, M/M, Steve Rogers Feels, This Is Sad, Tony Stark Feels, Unacknowledged Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 12:16:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11736873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salable_mystic/pseuds/salable_mystic
Summary: When the end comes, it’s on an ordinary Tuesday.





	what I've tasted of desire

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Cap IM Tiny RB Round 6: Commander](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11713596) by [Shaliara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shaliara/pseuds/Shaliara). 



> I have a feeling that I am missing the precise Avengers canon/universe the art is located in, but I haven't read enough of the comics yet - so have some generic Avengers fic with vague villain hand waving and purposeful Arc reactor ambiguousness. Yes, the title is an allusion to the Robert Frost poem "Fire and Ice". 
> 
>  
> 
> -

The second time Steve's world ends it is not by ice, but by fire: there's a villain they’re fighting (there’s always a villain and they’re always fighting), and then, just after they have subdued the villain and the fight seems to be over there is a fire in the building next door, a final trap laid for them.

There is a fire and so they start evacuating civilians and it seems to be going well, but then there are explosions and the building is collapsing, coming down while Tony is still in it, and Steve cannot find him, can establish no connection to Iron Man for endless, agonizing minutes, and it's taking far too long for the smoke and lingering flames to clear, for a search for Tony to be possible (never mind safe).

So, when Steve can finally stumble into the ruins this, this is how Steve's world ends: it ends by rebar and concrete, with sharp metal spikes piercing straight through the Iron Man armor and out the other side in far too many places, with Tony impaled among the ruins, helmet off and blood soaking the ground beneath him.

They have been in near-death situations far too many times not to know that this is it, that there is no walking away from this one, not for Tony (and also not for Steve).

The spike of metal that has gone straight through Tony's abdomen makes sure of that, along with the shattered casing of the ARC reactor from which all light is absent. Steve only has to take one look at the injury and the darkness in Tony's chest where a light used to glow for that knowledge to settle in, to become certainty, with a sharp ice-cold punch as if he is the one being impaled by it, with an emptiness encompassing his own chest as if a light inside him, too, has failed.

From the look on Tony's face, the expression in his eyes, he, too, knows.

There are no assurances that Steve can give Tony ("You'll be fine, it's okay, the medics will be here soon"), there is nothing comforting that he can say ("Shh, I've got you, it's ok, it's ok"), that will not make a mockery out of Tony. He can't even hug him, hold him close, comfort him that way, because there are those horrible steel spikes in the way, keeping him at a distance.

Tony is dying, and the closest Steve can get to him is the armored hand Tony is slowly, painstakingly, lifting, which the drag of the dead suit and his failing strength let him barely manage to get to shoulder height before his strength fails him and his arm starts to sag. But this, this at least Steve can still give him (he wants to give him the world, wants to give him everything ... but it's too late for that now, too late, too late, _too late_ ). He can reach out, catch that failing strength, lift the hand and cradle it against the side of his face with the tenderest of touches (this is the only tenderness he can give Tony now).

The metal fingers are cold and hard against Steve's skin, another obstacle that is keeping them from connecting to each other, a horrible prelude of the coldness that is to come.

Steve has no words for Tony, as he is unwilling to lie to him now, for in this Tony deserves nothing but the truth, and all the true things that Steve could ever say to Tony have either been said already or would only be a cruelty now, when they both know that words is all they would ever be, that this is it, that their time together is now measured in minutes alone.

Steve tries, anyway:

"Tony, I ..."

It comes out as an agonized rasp, torn from his throat and infused with all the pain and despair and longing and rage and fury and the horribly looming chasm within it. He swallows, tries again, tries to compose himself, but it comes out no better.

"Tony ... Tony. Tony, I …"

Again.

“Tony…”

Tony's mouth quirks, with the faintest hint of a smile, with acknowledgement, with resignation, with all the strength that he has left.

"Ste...ve,” Tony sighs.

 

For a second there is silence, stillness, the world has come to a stop and they are caught in this moment, like flies in amber, and Steve would be okay staying here forever, in this failing light, for while this moment is horrible, what is to come will only be so much worse, so much darker.

And then Tony coughs, blood trickling from his mouth, winces, starts to twitch involuntarily - and even in this his eyes stay on Steve's, have been looking at, focusing on Steve ever since Steve found Tony here among the rubble and destruction and the end, and they stay on Steve, unwavering, never blinking, until they lose focus and Tony stops breathing and will never breathe or blink or focus on anything ever again.

 

Steve never looks away. This, this, out of everything, he can give Tony.

 

 

.

 


End file.
